STOP gambling

HOW PROBLEM GAMBLING AFFECT THE  FAMILY 

When there’s a problem or compulsive gambler in the family, more than just the gambler is negatively affected. The entire family suffers as a result of the behavior and thinking of the gambling addict. Families may be affected in different ways. Gambling problems can be hidden for a long time; so many families are shocked when they learn how much money has been lost. Some relationships do not survive a gambling problem. Other families struggle through difficulties and grow stronger together. People can and do recover from problem gambling, but it takes time and patience to work through all the issues.

How each family is impacted depends on the severity of the gambling problem, how long it has gone on, the closeness of the relationship with the gambler and other factors. Serious financial, psychological, emotional, social and legal problems may completely undermine family functioning to the point of collapse.

Financial

The most common problem is the loss of money. Savings, property or belongings may suddenly be lost. This kind of money crisis makes the family feel scared, angry and betrayed.Out-of-control gambling and repeated gambling losses take a tremendous toll on the family finances. Well-meaning family members, usually the spouse of the gambler, often try to “help” the gambler by lending them money, bailing them out of financial difficulties, paying their bills, helping them to stash money to gamble, and other behaviors related to providing money to the gambler. This is classic enabling and does no good either for the gambler or his or her family. Ultimately, the financial losses become too great. The home may be forced into foreclosure. The family may have to declare bankruptcy. When bills can’t be paid because the gambler has squandered all the money on chasing the losses, more than just money is at stake. The provider can no longer provide, and everyone suffers.

Breakdown In Family Relationships

Trying to deal with the stress and tension brought on as a result of the gambler’s behavior jeopardizes the bond among family members. When the spouse, children, siblings and other family members can no longer trust the gambler, feel no sense of security, have no confidence in the gambler or even fear for their future, the result is a breakdown in the family relationships. Endless lies, staying out late or not coming home at all, threats, manipulation and violence or domestic abuse all contribute to the dissolution of family ties.Shame, avoidance of friends, secrecy and trying to hide the pain further magnify the isolation the family members feel as the gambler’s behavior gets more and more out of control.

Many families under stress have trouble coping. One member may try to keep things in control by taking on more tasks. This can lead to burnout. Family members often focus on the person with gambling problems, and forget to take care of themselves or to have fun.

Emotional Devastation

Gambling problems cause strong feelings.These feelings make it harder to solve problems. .Anxiety, guilt, shame, depression, insomnia, behavioral problems and emotional insecurity begin to afflict all the family members that are closest to or living in the same environment as the problem or compulsive gambler. The spouse or family members may hide their feelings and refrain from saying certain things, afraid that it may trigger an explosive outburst. Children often seek to distract the attention away from the gambler by being disruptive, comedic or inordinately charming, or they react in the opposite manner and become withdrawn, quiet, and fearful. Older children may assume the role of protector of the younger siblings, or attempt to pick up the responsibilities of one or both parents. They often try to overcompensate at school, believing that if they were only better in their scholastic achievement, maybe their gambling parent would love them more and quit gambling. The emotional roller coaster continues to wreak devastation on the children’s emotional development the longer the gambler keeps gambling and does not get treatment. But, again, everyone in the gambler’s family suffers emotional consequences.

Sexual Dysfunction

With no trust in the gambler, no belief in their word, the spouse of the gambler often withdraws from the relationship in the form of sex. What sex there is may become perfunctory at best. Harboring intense feelings of anger and blame, the non-gambling spouse cannot show feelings of love. As the cycle of gambling continues with even more damaging consequences, the gambler loses all desire for sexual intimacy – his or her life is now controlled by gambling. The result for the non-gambling spouse is often complete demoralization, loss of self-esteem and confidence.

Violence

Family violence is more common when families are in crisis.With tensions escalating at a dangerous pace, the arguments and emotional outbursts may end in violence. Gambling problems can lead to physical or emotional abuse of a partner, elder parent or child. Both parents may vent their anger at the children, while the children may try to stick up for one parent or defuse the tensions. They may also become pawns in the never-ending squabbling. The bigger the losses, the longer the out-of-control gambling goes on, the greater the potential for serious bodily harm to family members.

According to the systematic review, over half of people with gambling problems (56%) report perpetrating physical violence against their children (Dowling et al., in press). Moreover, several recent Australian studies have found that one-third to one-half (34-53%) of people with gambling problems and their family members report some form of family violence in the previous 12 months (victimisation (27-41%), perpetration (23-33%); Dowling, Jackson et al., 2014; Suomi et al., 2013). In these studies, parents, current partners and former partners were both the most common perpetrators and victims of the family violence. However, results from studies involving family members other than partners must be interpreted with caution. Only a few studies are available with large variability in reported prevalence estimates.

Gambling And Dependency

Some problem and compulsive gamblers have more than one dependency. It is commonly accepted that individuals with one type of addiction often have others as well. This may be an addiction to alcohol, illicit drugs, pharmaceutical drugs used for nonmedical purposes, or other type of substance. Just because someone gambles, however, doesn’t mean they’re automatically going to be addicted to something else, but the patterns of behavior are already established – particularly if one or more of the gambler’s parents had a problem with alcohol, drugs and/or gambling.

There are, of course, many gamblers who do not become otherwise addicted, saying that no other activity or substance gives them the kind of euphoria, excitement or “high” that gambling does.

SOURCE:https://aifs.gov.au/agrc/publications/impact-gambling-problems-families/what-are-impacts-gambling-problems-families

SOURCE:https://www.elementsbehavioralhealth.com/behavioral-process-addictions/how-problem-gambling-affects-the-family/

SOURCE:https://www.problemgambling.ca/gambling-help/support-for-families/how-are-families-affected.aspx